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Despite living at the same time, no two generations are the same; and it’s especially clear when it comes to the way they interact with each other.
TikToker ‘kay.n.zee’—a representative of the millennial generation herself—went viral after discussing the way baby boomers tend to talk to children.She asked them not to engage in conversations with kids they don’t know, as their way of communication or remarks might not be something younger parents want their children to hear.
Bored Panda has reached out to ‘kay.n.zee’ and she was kind enough to answer a few of our questions. You will find her thoughts in the text below.
Generational differences can be especially evident in the way people communicate
Image credits: Media_photos
“This is my formal request as a millennial mom for boomers to stop talking to children that you don’t know”
Image credits: kay.n.zee
“Other than simple things like ‘hi,’ or ‘I like your shoes.’ My daughter and I were just at Target and this boomer came up to us. She looked at my daughter, and she says, ‘Oh, you are so pretty.’ And my daughter just looks at her and doesn’t say anything, because she doesn’t talk to people that she doesn’t know. And I said, ‘Oh, thank you.’ She just stands there for a few moments, like, waiting for my daughter to respond. And then she says, ‘Oh, look at those eyes. So pretty.’ And I say, ‘Oh, thank you. She’s shy. She doesn’t talk to people that she doesn’t know.'”
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“She just stands there and says, ‘You don’t think you’re pretty?'”
Image credits: kay.n.zee
“Just like that. I was like, Oh my God. And I said ‘No, she knows she’s beautiful. She just doesn’t talk to people she doesn’t know.’ Why would you even plant that idea into her head? My daughter is two and a half. She doesn’t know what not pretty is. She knows that everyone and everything is pretty, beautiful, interesting.”
“Millennial and Gen Z parents are working so hard to break the toxic cycles of self-loathing and self-hatred that boomers instilled in them”
Image credits: kay.n.zee
“But it’s like, every chance that they get to puke it out onto an innocent child, they take it. So annoying.”
Image credits: kay.n.zee
“And then another weird thing that happened, and this was a while ago. My husband’s family is from Bangladesh. His skin is brown and I’m obviously very white and our daughter is lighter than him and darker than me. And again we were out at a store and this boomer man comes up to us and looks at my daughter and he goes ‘Man, she is beautiful. Look at that perfect olive complexion. Where is her father from?'”
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“Leave us alone. Please stop talking to us”
Image credits: kay.n.zee
The woman’s video reached over 1.8 million views on TikTok
@kay.n.zee #millenialmom #momsoftiktok #momrant #toxicboomers ♬ original sound – Kay & Zee | Toddler Activities
Image credits: Vladimir Konoplev (not the actual photo)
The TikToker’s video caused quite a commotion online and seemingly split the netizens into camps; while some sided with her, others believed it’s important for children to communicate with the older generation, too.
But in a recent interview, the TikToker, Kay, emphasized that by asking baby boomers—the second largest generation group out there, surpassed only by millennials—not to talk to children, she didn’t mean that there should be no intergenerational contact altogether.
“First, I would like to clarify the phrasing of ‘asking baby boomers to stop talking to children’,” she told Bored Panda. “This is something that is getting misinterpreted. I actually said to ‘stop talking to children that you don’t know other than simple things like ‘Hi’ or ‘I like your shoes’.
“This is an important clarification because I personally enjoy interaction when we are out and about, I just didn’t like how the woman continued to push my two-year-old to talk to her when my daughter clearly didn’t want to and did not address me whatsoever,” she added.
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Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual photo)
Kay suggested that interactions—both good and bad—can influence a child and the development of their character traits or qualities. “If interactions between children and baby boomers—or anyone else—are appropriate, there will be positive effects,” she pointed out. “If interactions between children and baby boomers—or anyone else—are forced and inappropriate, negative effects can occur such as people-pleasing tendencies.
“It is crucial for children to learn to be assertive and prepared for all social interactions, but first, when they are very young, they need to understand that their bodies, safety, and comfort need to be valued and protected.”
The woman believes it is difficult for kids to understand that when strangers touch them without their or their parents’ permission or lure responses out of them when children have made it clear they are not comfortable. “In my case, it was the woman who asked, ‘You don’t think you’re pretty?’ after my daughter didn’t respond to her first comment,” the OP shared.
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Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Kay believes part of the reason young parents might not be happy with the way baby boomers interact with children is the way the latter were raised themselves. “I believe that baby boomers were raised with particular emphasis on being polite and respectful,” she said. “This is not a ‘bad’ thing; my husband and I emphasize politeness and being respectful as well. However, we balance this by also emphasizing safety and feelings during interactions.”
“If an adult is not respectful to our daughter, she does not need to blindly respect them simply because they are older than her. We know that these situations—like forcing a child to hug an adult when they don’t want to—can blur the lines of autonomy and consent. This applies to both people that our daughter knows as well as strangers.
“Baby boomers used to focus on ‘stranger danger’ and we focus on ‘tricky people’, meaning that strangers, friends, and family members can be someone who does not respect boundaries,” the TikToker added.
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
Talking to Bored Panda, Kay emphasized that society has changed drastically since baby boomers were raising their young children, which is why she felt it was important to address the problem publicly.
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“This change is both negative and positive because, fortunately, we are now more aware of situations where a child may not interact with others (such as being non-verbal due to autism spectrum disorder) but unfortunately socializing in public is less common. And in my experience as a mom, interactions where people have pushed my daughter to respond have been baby boomers.
“There are thousands of comments on my video of parents sharing similar stories, especially of strangers touching their babies and toddlers without asking the parent first. It is important for everyone to remember that children are learning from everything that happens to them and around them; if you would not walk up to an adult stranger and touch their hair, then you should not do it to a child you do not know,” Kay said.
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